..i'm on my way all the time.. again i had to confess i cannot just be at one place, in my life.. i need this changing of places, moods, atmospheres, people, ... and although it all could be better in general, i feel so happy.. i think i've met the most beautiful being i've ever met in my life- which doesn't mean that everything's totally fine, but it means sooooo soooo much.. an inspiration next to my silent inspirations, some kind of drive next to my own one.. i'm working, i just am, although i have no money i keep on and follow my very own path- and it does so good, it makes me feel so happy and i hope that this will last, 'for more than just a moment, for longer than just for now.. :)

don't be downcast, soon the night will come,
when we can see the cool moon laughing in secret
over the faint countryside,
and we rest, hand in hand.

don't be downcast, the time will soon come
when we can have rest. Our small crosses will stand
on the bright edge of the road together,
and rain fall, and snow fall,
and the winds come and go.

(..for my love.. 'on a journey' herrmann hesse, translated by James Wright)

..spiritual friendship is the whole of the spiritual life..

(samyutta nikaya, verse 2)

..and check out my profile on myspace- to check out more.. looking forward to see and meet you there :)

..a foretaste..

new photoproject, new experience, new impressions, new expression ;)

sorry, folks :)

oh ooooh..
sorry for my absence- but i needed (and maybe will need it some more time..) it- urgently ;)
i neither wanted to make anybody feel worried about me nor just to cut and run.. but thank you for letting me know and care- it's a good feeling and it always reminds me of how i felt and feel if there are some posts i miss, some personal stuff of my 'virtual friends' i cannot read..

life's full of surprises and unforeseeable things.. since i'm back in my hometown so much happened.. and so much still is happening.. to be honest, i even neither know where to begin nor where to end. the last weeks i spent in prague and slovenia. i'm still filled with all those impressions, light, experiences, people and .. so much more.. since i'm here, in goerlitz, everything went its way, and athough i believe in the run of events lead by some kind of universal energy (..not meant in a esotheric but in a spiritual way..) i nearly can't believe what's happening right now. of course, bad days and dark clouds still reach me but at the end everything's turning out to be the best and right what could happen. strange and surprising somehow. found a workshop: a place where everything fits, a new place to work, a new place where i feel comfortable and free to work, to let myself go and also to give myself into another kind of sphere. so the week after next week i'll move again, probably, with all of my stuff.. i'm looking forward to all what comes, i'm looking forward to finally be able to work and push all those things forward again. i've started another kind of project, which means i've rediscovering an old passion of mine, which is black and white photography. and, in particular, i'm hunting shadows and reflections. i'm already preparing an exhibition on my mind, combined with more visual things, music, percussion, and moved images- but: we shall see.. maybe more to come..

anything else.. ..aaaaah- it's about the best flat i could ever find- and i've found it by chance :) all fit in every way- and i feel so comfortable to finally have been found a space to live where i just feel like home, to close the door and be alone in a way which is supposed to be felt like that.. (..if you know what i mean ;) ).
anton's also better concerning his social life- he meets a lot of friends (doggy and human..) and we're spending a lot of time together walking along the cosy streets of the old town or through the meadows on the polish side.

looking forward to see and read again about all of you, internet still is not working at my place at the moment so it may take a while till i really be back :) exercise patience, please :)

music: neil young

that's it, anni! for now, endlessely ;)



did I see you down
in a young girl's town
with your mother in so much pain?
i was almost there
at the top of the stairs
with her screamin' in the rain.

did she wake you up
to tell you that
it was only a change of plan?
dream up, dream up,
let me fill your cup
with the promise of a man.

did I see you walking with the boys
though it was not hand in hand?
and was some black face
in a lonely place
when you could understand?

did she wake you up
to tell you that
It was only a change of plan?
dream up, dream up,
let me fill your cup
with the promise of a man.

will I see you give
more than I can take?
will I only harvest some?
as the days fly past
will we lose our grasp
or fuse it in the sun?

did she wake you up
to tell you that
It was only a change of plan?
dream up, dream up,
let me fill your cup
with the promise of a man.

..happiness..

a part of mine arrived, feeling some kind of happiness i think :)

there is this first night in my very own realm which i've been longing for since two years now. feeling entirely comfortable, filled with a cosy warmth i nearly can't get. must be a dispensation that everything has come as it is now, so it's not that bad if i'm never going to get it, no? - grin -

time to rest, time to just be - finally !

'direct your eye right inward,
and you'll find a thousand regions of your mind
yet undiscovered.
travel them and be
expert in home-cosmography.'

(Henry David Thoreau - walden)

film: fear and trembling

Amélie, a dreamy and romantic young Belgian woman, arrives in Japan to begin work as a translator for the giant Yumimoto Corporation. For Amélie, who spent her childhood in Japan, this is a dream come true. It is her chance to become a ''real Japanese.'' Eager to please her bosses and co-workers, Amélie diligently accomplishes her daily tasks with invention and enthusiasm. But unfamiliar with the customs of the Japanese workplace, she commits a series of cultural missteps and is singled out as a deviant within the company hierarchy, suffering a string of demotions. (...) Unable to stop her downfall, Amélie suddenly stumbles upon her own extraordinary means of liberation. (official website)

links:
official website
wikipedia
imdb

a movie that shines due to the winsome main character and her performance (-which was so great and natural i was delighted-) and also the humourious and cute scenes (caused by the acting..) and not to forget to mention the meaning of the story itself, of course ;) i enjoyed it much.

preparing my move !!

since 10 am in the morning i was running through the house like crazy: packing things into banana-boxes i've collected during the last 2 weeks, running downstairs, running back upstairs like a whirlwind. i didn't get everything, but i gave my best. so tomorrow my alarm will have to ring (what i absolutely can't stand on sundays..) for i'll have enough time before getting into my train to the east- to my hometown. from up there i will fetch my things on wednesday or so. goodbye barchfeld- i think i'm not going to miss you much..
well, yes, i got the last written exam- now there remains at least one oral exam in two weeks. so I'M MOVING - I'M LEAVING !!! :)
in fact i cannot completely get it yet, as there are a thousand things i have to manage- driver, suitable car, packing, calls, calls, calls.. and all that stuff.. but i already said goodbye to my lake and gave a stone back to him as a kind gesture - grin - time for a change now - finally !!

music: damien rice

damien rice, an irish singer/songwriter with a likeable story of success. some of his songs are very popular as they were used for some series and films- but, nevertheless, gently instrumental and wonderfully beautiful.

film: after life

After Life is set at a way station between Heaven and Earth. There, guides have less than a week to help the newly dead sift through their memories for one defining moment to take with them to Heaven.




After Life is a new feature film by KORE-EDA Hirokazu, the award-winning director of Maborosi (1995). Based on KORE-EDA's original screenplay, After Life explores our profound human need to discover meaning in everyday life. (rotten tomatoes)

links:
imdb
wikipedia
new york times review

..what a diffucult request- to choose one memory of the whole life to take it to eternity and thus let it last forever. the film itself deals with many of these essential and basic questions about ones seeking for meaning. and this is, in my opinion, its strength- the interesting underlying interrogation and thought-provoking story. the mood sometimes was a bit too qualm, maybe too impartial, and on the other for transferring a more or less mediative mood in fact there was something missing. the acting of each protagonist was authentic and truly great.